 May Edition:
Questions from the Mat
by Rainah
As my body poured sweat and I breathed the thick heavy air in a Bikram class, I heard the guidance "push! push! Push!" I wondered – what is the wisdom in this guidance? What is she trying to get me to experience? How different from the words I am often saying to remind my students, and myself to encourage love in the practice. My instructor called out "draw the leg up until both hips hurt!" Wow. That was a shocking direction to my Harbin Yoga sensibilities!
How far do I go in the pose?
What is the appropriate amount of effort?
Finding the appropriate amount of effort at any given moment requires our full presence in that moment and in that experience. We are grounded in our presence through the breath.
Take deep, full, smooth breaths before you begin and consciously continue throughout. (Let go of expectations. Forget judging how well or poorly you have done before, forget the need to compare or measure this moment against any other. Forget anyone else in the room and what or how they are doing. Resist the need to know "Am I doing it right?") Simply breath & feel. Gradually deepen into the pose. Go slowly. Trust yourself.
'The stretch' requires effort. A balanced and aware opposition of energy creates the dynamic tension that is necessary. This is what you want. This is appropriate effort. It is energizing, enlivening. Notice, however, if your breath changes, becomes more difficult or stops all together. It is important not to ignore this! We often stop breathing when we are over-efforting, forcing or self criticizing. Unnecessary effort can begin in the mind, often with ego driven thoughts: Wanting to be good enough, or better than, being attached to a self image of strength or knowledge. These can all instigate over-efforting. Learn to recognize the mental chatter that does not serve. The chatter of the 'monkey mind' takes us out of our full presence, squelches our energy. Recognize that it is of little value to you, and without judging yourself further, with out "hooking in" to the energy as it were... Simply place your focus elsewhere. Come back to your breath and notice your sensations in the moment.
Another manifestation of unnecessary effort is in our habit patterns. Look for places that habitually hold or clench. Breathe an invitation of softening and surrender there.
Hearing the instructor's demanding words, challenged me to listen internally. Do listen to the guidance from the teacher in class but check it against what your body is telling you. Is the guidance bringing you an experience that serves you where you are? Is this feeding me or depleting me? Am I opening in this place, in this moment, into this pose, or am I contracting. Trust yourself.
As you continue in the pose you may find a place of intensity where you gasp for breath. Celebrate and fearlessly allow the intensity. Put your energy into the depth and fullness of the breath rather than into muscular intensity. Invite openness in the muscles and your own fully alive-ness!
If you find pain, don't avoid it as is our unconscious tendency, but approach it slowly from a distance, breathing deeply. Approach with the utmost respect and listen to what it has to say. Be aware of your whole self – not just the body. Is there sadness, anger, fear, grief or even joy, or elation held in the body's contraction? Allow yourself to feel your heart. Go slowly and listen deeply.
When you honor yourself fully in the pose, at a level that is totally appropriate for you, your whole self, there is vibrant aliveness, expansion, and pure BLISS! What if we fully honor ourselves, exactly as we are, even beyond the practice? How would life, as we know it, transform?
To be continued....
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